I am right down the middle

Seems about right!!

My Political Profile:

Overall: 55% Conservative, 45% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

You'll poke somebodys eye out with that!!

I always thought carrots were good for your eyes. Seems I was wrong!

Man Accused of Blinding Wife With Carrot

MONROE, Conn. (AP) - A 46-year-old man is accused of assaulting his wife with a carrot, causing her to lose sight in one eye. Roderick Vecsey is charged with second-degree assault and disorderly conduct.

Pamela Vecsey, 46, underwent six hours of surgery after being hit in the left eye with the vegetable Saturday night, but doctors were not able to restore her vision, prosecutor Stephanie Damiani said.

The couple was arguing when Roderick Vecsey tossed the carrot, Damiani said.

Roderick Vecsey told Judge Patrick Carroll that it was a terrible accident, and was advised to remain silent.

The judge set a hearing for Thursday. Vecsey is currently free after posting $500 bond.

The GOOD Book!!

Nothing like the smell of a Bible 1st thing in the morning!!

Inmate, Wife Smuggle Bibles Backed With Blow

(AP) HUNTINGTON, Ind. A jail inmate pleaded guilty to charges that he asked his wife to smuggle cocaine to him inside two Bibles.

Anthony W. Duckworth, 32, pleaded guilty Monday in a Huntington County court to two counts of trafficking with an inmate. His wife, Amy M. Duckworth, 28, pleaded guilty to the same charges on June 19.

On March 10, Jail Commander Steve McIntyre intercepted one Bible that was to have gone to Anthony Duckworth's cellmate, Joshua Gidley. McIntyre opened the ends of the spine, which had been glued shut, and found a plastic bag containing about 2 grams of cocaine, he said.

According to police reports, guards could not remember who had delivered the Bible to the jail in the city about 20 miles southwest of Fort Wayne. But on March 27, Sgt. Paul Douglas found a similar Bible with a lump in the spine and discovered two plastic bags inside. One contained cocaine and the other contained a substance later identified as tobacco.

Bar-code stickers led authorities to a Wal-Mart, where they found a Bible had been bought with a credit card. The receipt was signed by Amy Duckworth and a surveillance video showed her making the purchase, police said.

Investigators said she later admitted buying the Bibles but said someone else supplied the cocaine and that she enlisted two other people to deliver them to the jail, where her husband planned to sell the drugs.

Anthony Duckworth's sentencing is set for Aug. 7. Amy Duckworth is scheduled to be sentenced July 24.

Bye Bye Rosie!

Hmmm, which is worse. Inmates pleasuring them selves and relieving tension in there own cells, or rampant rape, whether it be same sex or not??

I say give the stroking material if they so desire it!!!

Inmates Sue to Overturn Nude Magazine Ban

Jul 12, 6:52 AM (ET)

By KEN KUSMER

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) - Two inmates have filed a lawsuit against the Indiana Department of Correction to overturn a policy that bars magazines such as Playboy and Hustler.

The lawsuit filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Indianapolis seeks class-action status on behalf of more than 20,000 state prisoners and challenges a policy that went into effect July 1 barring adult magazines and other printed material that depict nudity or sexual content.

The policy could prohibit sexually explicit letters and publications such as National Geographic magazine and daily newspapers, according to the complaint, which said the new rule violates the plaintiffs' civil rights.

"The policy is written so broadly that it includes within its prohibitions such things as personal letters between prisoners and loved ones and much of the world's great literature and art," said the complaint, which was prepared by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana.

One of the two plaintiffs named in the complaint is Ernest Tope, 53, an inmate at the Pendleton Correctional Facility near Anderson who is serving a life sentence for murder. He claims he cannot subscribe to the motorcycle magazine Easyriders because it contains partial nudity.

The policy may also may bar books such as steamy novels by the best-selling author Jackie Collins that have been available in the past through the prison library, the lawsuit claims.

Both Tope and the other named plaintiff, murder and auto theft convict Wade Meisberger, 34, challenged the new policy through the prison grievance system but so far been unsuccessful, the complaint said. Meisberger, 34, is held at the Miami Correctional Facility near Peru.

DOC spokeswoman Java Ahmed said agency officials had not yet reviewed the lawsuit and had no comment.

Safe Driver = Jail time??

And I freak out when there are 3 cars waiting on a pump at my store. I can just imagine the chaos that was going on in the parking lot if it was a prepay store!!!

Free Gas Sets Off Fights in Milwaukee

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Jul 12, 4:46 PM (ET)

MILWAUKEE (AP) - Two vehicles crashed and four people were arrested in excitement over a gasoline giveaway Wednesday to reward the city for its safe-driving record.

For the most part, hundreds of drivers waited patiently for hours for about $30 worth of free gasoline each that Allstate Insurance provided at one station.

However, some motorists started lining up before midnight and the queue stretched far from the station into a residential area, trapping some residents in their driveways, said police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz.

That led to fights and arrests for disorderly conduct. In one case, three officers were sent to a hospital as a precaution because they were spattered with blood from someone's bloodied nose, Schwartz said.

The two crashes apparently occurred when queued-up motorists tried to let friends into line, Schwartz said.

"Any time you offer free gas when it is $3 a gallon, it is not surprising people would get excited," she said.

Allstate gave away a tanker truck load of gasoline as a reward to Milwaukee for ranking No. 1 among mid-sized cities on its safe drivers list.

Clarence Jefferson said he thought he'd be first in line when he got there at 4 a.m. - but found hundreds of others already ahead of him. Pumps were turned on at about 6 a.m.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "It helps. Every bit is worth it."

I am not scared of clowns, just the people that portray them!!

Clown fear rocks festival organisers

From: Agence France-Presse

ORGANISERS of a British rock festival have been forced to change its circus theme after a number of ticket-holders told them they had a phobia of clowns.

The Bestival event on the Isle of Wight, off England's south coast, in early September was to have encouraged festival-goers to dress up in curly red wigs and oversized shoes.

Last year's Cowboys or Indians theme broke a world record for the biggest fancy dress party when 10,000 people turned up in disguise.

But organisers feared thousands of clowns in one place could spark mass panic in the psychedelic atmosphere of the festival, which is popular with so-called "nouveaux hippies", The Times reported.

"We have had so many people with clown phobias contact us I am worried everyone might end up hiding in the woods," Rob da Bank, a BBC Radio One disc jockey who will "curate" the show, was quoted as saying.

Fear of clowns - or coulrophobia - has symptoms including shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, nausea, sweating and a sense of foreboding, The Times pointed out.

Heavy make-up and bulbous noses, plus negative childhood memories of the supposed funnymen and women, are thought to be the root cause.

The Drunken Pelican

Bet it was a Frat Boy bet to play "chicken" with the car!!

Intoxicated pelicans rounded up

27-06-2006

From: Reuters

FOUR pelicans suspected of being drunk on sea algae were being tested at a Southern California wildlife centre after one of them crashed headlong into a car.

Three of the California brown pelicans were found wandering dazed in the streets of Laguna Beach after another pelican struck a vehicle's windshield on a nearby coast road.

It suffered internal injuries and a long gash in its pouch and was undergoing toxicology tests.

Officials at the Wildlife Care Centre said the seabirds may have been under the influence of algae in the ocean that can produce domoic acid poisoning when eaten.

The other pelicans were rounded up after assistant wildlife director Lisa Birkle warned the public to be on the lookout for birds acting "drunk," disoriented or being in an unusual place.

We're in hot pursuit, Flash!!!

I am guessing this officer was not in need of any exercise. 10 mph????

Man on Mini-Motorcycle Leads Cops on Chase

A 42-year-old Lake Crystal man led sheriff's deputies on a goose chase. His getaway vehicle: a 5-horsepower mini-motorcycle.

A call came in reporting that Douglas Lee Menne had wiped out at a downtown intersection. Sheriff's Deputy Jeff Wersal responded, suspecting it was a case of drunk driving.

By the time the deputy arrived at the intersection, Menne had recovered and driven off. After locating him, Wersal tried to get Menne to pull over. The bike had no tail light or license plate.

Wersal pursued Menne to a parking lot where he paused briefly, re-started the bike and zipped out the other side of the lot. The chase continued as Menne put-putted down a nearby street at about 25 mph.

Wersal pulled alongside Menne and yelled at him to stop. The chase slowed to about 10 mph when Wersal pulled in front of the bike.

Wersal then fired his Taser out his squad car window. One dart hit Menne, but fell out. The effort hindered Menne enough for Wersal to get out of his car and push Menne off the bike. It took the help of another deputy to make the arrest, according to the report.

Menne was jailed and released later after posting $12,000 bail. Charges are pending.

Copyright © 2006 Associated Press. Displayed by permission

Idiots we work with

There is alway at least one of these types we have worked with. Sometimes, it might be ourselves!!

YOUR BRAIN - DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT

A woman had just purchased several items she needed from a department store and was handed the credit card receipt to sign.

The cashier noticed that the back of the woman’s credit card wasn't signed and told her she couldn't complete the transaction without a signed card.

The woman was slightly confused by this request but complied and signed the back of the card immediately after signing the receipt.

The cashier took both the receipt and the card, held them up, and compared the signature.

Surprisingly they matched.

THAT'S JUST GOOFY!

The management of Walt Disney World, after two months of negotiation, finally relented and no longer makes the costume character actors share their underwear.

Before the final settlement the actors were only allowed to wear Disney provided underwear that were laundered and passed out randomly.

The actor complained to management that the underwear was often not clean, smelled bad, had stains and "things have been passed around."

Actors will now be allowed to have personal underwear, that Disney will issue, and the employees can take home and launder themselves.

Of course this won't affect the character of Donald Duck because, as we know, he doesn’t wear any pants.

JUST LET ME ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS FIRST

Businesses are only as good as the people they hire.

We've all come across people in stores, on the phone or in offices and wondered to ourselves "How did they get hired?"

Well, sometimes there's not a lot out there to choose from.

A questionnaire was sent out to Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations asking them to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

Here are some of their responses:

* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.

* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewers office.

* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

* Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

LET'S SEE WHAT DEVELOPS

A female employee of Eastman Kodak is suing the company under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

The woman claims she suffers from "seasonal affective disorder," a form of depression, and wants Kodak to provide more light where she works - in a photographic darkroom.

Next time on Springer ...America Idol fights.... naked!!!!

Bet this same thing has happened since Season 2. I wanna see the finalists fight it out in a deathmatch to determine the winner!!

Man attacks mother over 'American Idol' dispute

PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. A Plattsburgh man is facing felony charges for allegedly striking his mother in the head after the two disagreed about the fate of an "American Idol" contestant.

According to court records, 24-year-old Cory Favreau was discussing the television show with his mother, Jan Chagnon, on May 24th -- the night of the finale.

His mother made comments that contestant Katharine McPhee was going to have a successful career despite losing to another contestant, Taylor Hicks.

Favreau allegedly stood up, made a malicious comment to his mother and struck her in the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain.

Court records say the two were drinking alcohol at the time.

Chagnon was treated at C-V-P-H Medical Center for a cut to the top of her head and was released.

Favreau was charged with second-degree assault and third-degree criminal possession of a weapon. He was sent to Clinton County Jail, where he was still being held tonight on five-thousand dollars cash bail.

He is scheduled to reappear June 5 in City Court.

Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.