What the f___ is the internet??

We all know that it isn't polite to use the "F" word! There are only ten times in history the "F" word has been acceptable for use:

10. "What the f___ was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Look at all them f___ing Indians!" - Custer, 1876

8. "Any f___ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so f___ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926

6. "How the f___ did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the f___ are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered f___ing showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the f___'s going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1997

And number 1 . . . . . . . drum roll . . . . .

1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this f___ing mad." - Osama bin Laden

Thanks Lyn and Phylis!!

Lets get naked for Jesus!!!

Now I guess we need to make things equal and have a naked Satinist camp, naked Jewish camp (those guys should be easy to point out!!), a naked Wiccian camp, naked Kaballah camp (could Madonnna be the leader??), naked Hindu camp, naked Scientoligist (Go Katie!!!)..........

Christians to get naked

By Tony Allen-Mills

19-12-2005

From: The Australian

America's first 'Christian nudist camp' will soon open its doors for business / file

IN the beginning was the word of God and God never said anything about brassieres or boxer shorts. Thus was born Natura, America's first Christian nudist camp.

After two years of biblical debate over Adam and Eve and their fig leaves and whether or not nudity is sinful, a 67-year-old Quaker grandfather is preparing to open a modern-day Garden of Eden 65km north of Tampa, Florida.

Bill Martin's ambitious plan for an 80ha Christian-oriented Family Naturist Village has survived legal challenges, doctrinal disputes and a plague of internet prudes. Land is now being cleared for the opening next year of what may become the world's only Christian community to feature nude volleyball.

Despite howls of complaint from fundamentalists who have likened Martin to the Antichrist - and described his nudist plans as "graphic evidence of America's moral collapse" - Natura intends to build 50 houses around a non-denominational church where clothing for services will be optional.

He has fought with his neighbours over property rights, fallen out with other nudists over his promotional material and sparked a vigorous internet debate over whether the true path to godliness really involves getting naked.

Yet Martin remains confident that Christians will flock to Natura to experience the spiritual benefits of a lifestyle "free from body shame". He is spending more than $US2million ($2.68million) on a nudist recreational complex that will also feature a hotel, campsites and a children's water park.

(Entire story here)

Even worse Santa

Not really much I can say about this, kinda explains itself!!

Drunken Santas run riot in Auckland

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus outfits, many of them drunk, went on a rampage through Auckland, New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores, assaulting security guards and urinating from highway overpasses, police said Sunday.

The rampage, dubbed "Santarchy," began early Saturday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an overpass, said Auckland Central Police spokesman Noreen Hegarty.

She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage containers, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on office buildings.

One man climbed the mooring line of a cruise ship before being ordered down by the captain. Other Santas, objecting when the man was arrested, attacked security staff, who were later treated by paramedics, Hegarty said.

The remaining Santas entered another downtown convenience store and carried off beer and soft drinks.

"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," store owner Changa Manakynda said.

Two security guards were treated for cuts after being struck by beer bottles, Hegarty said. Three people, including the man who climbed on the cruise ship, were arrested and charged with drunkenness and disorderly behavior.

Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was a worldwide movement designed to protest the commercialization of Christmas.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

I think I need a new coffee table

Yeah, its about time I get some new furniture. Wonder if there is a endtable that has a great place to slide your remote into???

Story stolen from http://www.ananova.com

Ananova:

Erotic furniture fad

Erotic furniture based on the female body with boobs for doors and bums for drawers is the latest fad in Holland.

Cabinet maker Mario Philippona has designed a range of stylish wooden cupboards, wardrobes and tables using the female anatomy as his inspiration.

His pieces include a wine-glass cupboard in the shape of a pair of large breasts and a table supported by legs moulded from a female model.

Philippona said: "The shape of a woman, her organic architecture, combined with my passion for wood inspired me to sculpt these sexy designs."

His furniture is featured on his website, www.sexyfurniture.nl.

Ho... Ho.... Ho????

A quick funny

Confessing Husband

This guy gets home, plaster-assed drunk, and stumbles into the bedroom, which wakes his wife. She notices he has a duck under his arm, and as he stands there, swaying side to side, he mutters "This is the pig I've been sleeping with"
His wife, disgusted by the condition he's in, says "You dumb ass. That's a Duck"
He says, "I wasn't talking to YOU"

Is that a tube of toothpaste, or are you happy to see me???

Guess you never really know where your groceries have been before you purchase them!!

BERLIN (Reuters) - Police in Germany arrested a shoplifter who filled his trousers with 39 tubes of toothpaste, authorities in the western town of Dueren said on Wednesday.

Police said store detectives in a supermarket chased the 37-year-old man after they saw him stuff the tubes into his pants, and forced him to hand over the goods.

It wasn't long before the toothpaste was once again available to customers.

"As far as I know, it was back on the shelves soon after," a police spokesman said.

I thought those English didnt have a problem with nudity!! I know I would love to be naked while I worked!

Naked and proud train engineer fired

LONDON, Dec. 8 (UPI) -- A train engineer in England has been fired for taking a photograph of himself naked while working and sending it to a colleague over his cell phone.

The unidentified man was running a train at 125 mph between London and Sheffield when the picture was taken, Sky News said.

"The driver has now been dismissed," said a Midland Main Line spokeswoman. "Safety is, and always will be, our main priority."

Meanwhile, The Sun reported it wasn't an isolated incident.

The newspaper said a number of drivers have reportedly taken up the hobby of stripping down before passing other trains, and encouraging fellow engineers to look at them as they speed past one another.

I would have went to see Santa for this!!!

Hot-Pink Thong Bothers Families Visiting Santa

ROANOKE, Va. -- Santa is keeping a secret -- a Victoria's Secret.

Some parents didn't like the idea of the young'uns seeing the skimpy underthings while visiting a mall Santa in Virginia. Now, there's a black curtain between Santa's chair and the Victoria's Secret store at the Valley View Mall in the Roanoke area.

Victoria's Secret has been featuring a window showing a leggy mannequin in a hot-pink thong and a bra. The theme of the display is "Give Me Sexy."

Mall spokeswoman Mandy York said they have no control over what Victoria's Secret puts in their window. But she said the black curtain seems to have satisfied the concerns of parents.

Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Erotic moments from Bible...

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German Protestant youth group has put together a 2006 calendar with 12 staged photos depicting erotic scenes from the Bible, including a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson's hair and a nude Eve offering an apple.

"There's a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism," said Stefan Wiest, the 32-year-old photographer who took the titillating pictures.

Anne Rohmer, 21, poses on a doorstep in garters and stockings as the prostitute Rahab, who is mentioned in both New and Old Testaments. "We wanted to represent the Bible in a different way and to interest young people," she told Reuters.

"Anyway, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that you are forbidden to show yourself nude."

Bernd Grasser, pastor of the church in Nuremberg where the calendar is being sold, was enthusiastic about the project which is explained online at www.bibelkalender.de. (BlackCrypts Note: Site has since been removed cause apparently there was a disclamer on there that some of the models were under 18. Those crazy Germans!!!!)

"It's just wonderful when teenagers commit themselves with their hair and their skin to the bible," he said.

It will be officially launched at the weekend.