The Drunken Pelican

Bet it was a Frat Boy bet to play "chicken" with the car!!

Intoxicated pelicans rounded up

27-06-2006

From: Reuters

FOUR pelicans suspected of being drunk on sea algae were being tested at a Southern California wildlife centre after one of them crashed headlong into a car.

Three of the California brown pelicans were found wandering dazed in the streets of Laguna Beach after another pelican struck a vehicle's windshield on a nearby coast road.

It suffered internal injuries and a long gash in its pouch and was undergoing toxicology tests.

Officials at the Wildlife Care Centre said the seabirds may have been under the influence of algae in the ocean that can produce domoic acid poisoning when eaten.

The other pelicans were rounded up after assistant wildlife director Lisa Birkle warned the public to be on the lookout for birds acting "drunk," disoriented or being in an unusual place.

We're in hot pursuit, Flash!!!

I am guessing this officer was not in need of any exercise. 10 mph????

Man on Mini-Motorcycle Leads Cops on Chase

A 42-year-old Lake Crystal man led sheriff's deputies on a goose chase. His getaway vehicle: a 5-horsepower mini-motorcycle.

A call came in reporting that Douglas Lee Menne had wiped out at a downtown intersection. Sheriff's Deputy Jeff Wersal responded, suspecting it was a case of drunk driving.

By the time the deputy arrived at the intersection, Menne had recovered and driven off. After locating him, Wersal tried to get Menne to pull over. The bike had no tail light or license plate.

Wersal pursued Menne to a parking lot where he paused briefly, re-started the bike and zipped out the other side of the lot. The chase continued as Menne put-putted down a nearby street at about 25 mph.

Wersal pulled alongside Menne and yelled at him to stop. The chase slowed to about 10 mph when Wersal pulled in front of the bike.

Wersal then fired his Taser out his squad car window. One dart hit Menne, but fell out. The effort hindered Menne enough for Wersal to get out of his car and push Menne off the bike. It took the help of another deputy to make the arrest, according to the report.

Menne was jailed and released later after posting $12,000 bail. Charges are pending.

Copyright © 2006 Associated Press. Displayed by permission

Idiots we work with

There is alway at least one of these types we have worked with. Sometimes, it might be ourselves!!

YOUR BRAIN - DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT

A woman had just purchased several items she needed from a department store and was handed the credit card receipt to sign.

The cashier noticed that the back of the woman’s credit card wasn't signed and told her she couldn't complete the transaction without a signed card.

The woman was slightly confused by this request but complied and signed the back of the card immediately after signing the receipt.

The cashier took both the receipt and the card, held them up, and compared the signature.

Surprisingly they matched.

THAT'S JUST GOOFY!

The management of Walt Disney World, after two months of negotiation, finally relented and no longer makes the costume character actors share their underwear.

Before the final settlement the actors were only allowed to wear Disney provided underwear that were laundered and passed out randomly.

The actor complained to management that the underwear was often not clean, smelled bad, had stains and "things have been passed around."

Actors will now be allowed to have personal underwear, that Disney will issue, and the employees can take home and launder themselves.

Of course this won't affect the character of Donald Duck because, as we know, he doesn’t wear any pants.

JUST LET ME ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS FIRST

Businesses are only as good as the people they hire.

We've all come across people in stores, on the phone or in offices and wondered to ourselves "How did they get hired?"

Well, sometimes there's not a lot out there to choose from.

A questionnaire was sent out to Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations asking them to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

Here are some of their responses:

* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.

* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewers office.

* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

* Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

LET'S SEE WHAT DEVELOPS

A female employee of Eastman Kodak is suing the company under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

The woman claims she suffers from "seasonal affective disorder," a form of depression, and wants Kodak to provide more light where she works - in a photographic darkroom.

Next time on Springer ...America Idol fights.... naked!!!!

Bet this same thing has happened since Season 2. I wanna see the finalists fight it out in a deathmatch to determine the winner!!

Man attacks mother over 'American Idol' dispute

PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. A Plattsburgh man is facing felony charges for allegedly striking his mother in the head after the two disagreed about the fate of an "American Idol" contestant.

According to court records, 24-year-old Cory Favreau was discussing the television show with his mother, Jan Chagnon, on May 24th -- the night of the finale.

His mother made comments that contestant Katharine McPhee was going to have a successful career despite losing to another contestant, Taylor Hicks.

Favreau allegedly stood up, made a malicious comment to his mother and struck her in the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain.

Court records say the two were drinking alcohol at the time.

Chagnon was treated at C-V-P-H Medical Center for a cut to the top of her head and was released.

Favreau was charged with second-degree assault and third-degree criminal possession of a weapon. He was sent to Clinton County Jail, where he was still being held tonight on five-thousand dollars cash bail.

He is scheduled to reappear June 5 in City Court.

Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Fill up for crack??

Sad to say, but he had a great idea!

Man Who 'Sold' Gasoline for $10 Charged


BALTIMORE (AP) - A man who police say pretended to be a station attendant and "sold" gasoline to drivers for $10 a tank was stealing the expensive commodity and pocketing the purchase money.

Joseph K. Boulware, 41, of address unknown, was arrested May 19 at a gas station in West Baltimore where, police said, he dispensed 450 gallons of gas worth about $1,300. He was charged theft, assault and possession of crack cocaine. His bail status could not be determined late Tuesday.

Authorities said Boulware used a magnetic key and a code that effectively places a pump on standby mode, allowing him to dispense gasoline unnoticed.

Boulware had worked for gas testing companies, which is how police believe he obtained the key and code.

A spokeswoman for Austin, Texas-based Tanknology said Boulware worked there from February to May 2004, but would not discuss his employment further, The (Baltimore) Sun reported.

"He asks you, 'You want gas? I will fill you up for $10,'" said Mohammad Mehtabdin, manager of the Citgo station where Boulware was arrested. "Nobody will complain about that."

About 5:30 p.m. on May 19, a $71 charge for pump No. 8 showed up on the register inside the Citgo, catching sales associate Francis Okondu by surprise.

Okondu, Mehtabdin and three other employees confronted the man.

"I was working that night," said Mehtabdin. "He was going pump to pump. He was selling gas to the people. So our employees noticed. We asked him, 'What are you doing here?' He said, 'Nothing, nothing.'"

While trying to flee, the man punched a station worker in the face, the manager said.

"He tried to run away, but we surrounded him," Mehtabdin said. "He was yelling, 'I did nothing.'"

The man fled inside the station. When police arrived, they reported finding the black magnetic key hidden inside a Ritz cracker box on a shelf stocked.

Police recovered the key, and seized $335 in cash and two purple vials containing rocklike substances that Boulware "had in his possession," police said.

Police say they are investigating other gas-pilfering schemes at as many as eight other stations.

"He had a lot of customers," Okondu said.

I'm your Ice Cream man, stop me when I pass out!!!

I wonder if he had REAL butter scotch cones?

Ice Cream Truck Driver Charged With DUI

GOSHEN, Ind. (AP) - Police say they found a nearly empty pint bottle of vodka between the front seats of an ice cream truck after they pulled over the driver for swerving into the wrong lane.

Goshen Police Patrolman Jared Baer spotted the yellow-and-white van in a subdivision, after several motorists called Saturday to report the swerving vehicle in the city about 25 miles southeast of South Bend, police said.

The van was stopped, and the driver was selling ice cream to children, so Baer waited until Dennis D. Cogburn, 51, of Bowie, Texas, started up again.

Baer said he followed the van and pulled it over after Cogburn failed to signal turns and swerved into the wrong lane.

Cogburn failed field sobriety tests and was arrested on a preliminary charge of driving under the influence of alcohol.

Cogburn reported having chest pains, so he was taken to a hospital, where a test showed his blood-alcohol level was 0.24 percent, three times the state's legal level to drive a car.

Baer impounded the ice cream van and found the nearly empty bottle of vodka, he reported.

Cogburn told police he's staying in a South Bend motel, working for the ice cream company, but planned to move back to Texas soon.

Take it outside!!!!

Are they trying to kill the best smoke break of the day???

Smoking and sex go hand-in-hand?

Mon May 29, 9:16 AM ET

Australian brothel owners want an exemption to anti-smoking laws for sex workers and their clients because, they say, one thing leads to another.

Newspapers reported Sunday that the Australian Adult Entertainment Industry had written to Victoria state officials seeking an exemption to laws which ban smoking in workplaces for fear they will drive prostitutes back onto the street.

"People smoke when they drink, and people smoke when they fornicate," the industry group's William Albon was quoted as saying by Australian Associated Press.

Smoking is banned in most public buildings across Australia and will be outlawed in hotels and other licensed premises in Victoria in July.

Albon said the ban would force "men, women and transgender persons" who work as prostitutes out of the state's 87 legal brothels and onto the streets, where they could potentially become targets for violence.

"Having them standing dressed in terms not conventional for the street might be a magnet for violent, anti-social behavior," he said.

Stick em UP!!

Wonder if he had a loaded weapon when he hailed the cab??

Naked man arrested for bank robbery

Burnaby RCMP say a shameless bank robber resorted to an unusual and ultimately unsuccessful diversionary tactic as he tried to elude them on Wednesday.
The incident began at about 12:30 p.m., when a man entered a bank in the 1900-block of Willingdon Avenue and demanded money.

As he fled the scene on foot, police say the man shed his clothes before attempting to flag down a passing cab.

When the taxi driver refused to stop for the naked man, police say the suspect streaked on foot toward the Gilmore SkyTrain station.

Pursing officers tackled him before he reached the station.

A 27-year-old man of no fixed address was taken into custody. He was scheduled to appear in court Thursday.

RAID!!!!!!!

Wonder if she was just doing pest control??

Woman Allegedly Hits Two With Raid Can

ATHENS, Ala. (AP) - A woman was charged with domestic violence for allegedly hitting her husband and another woman on the head with a can of Raid bug spray after she found them together.

Police Sgt. Trevor Harris said a "nosy neighbor" called the woman at work on Friday and told her that her husband was at their apartment having an affair with another woman, prompting the wife to head home.

"She came in and caught her husband with another woman and she grabbed a can of Raid and went at it," said another officer, Capt. Marty Bruce. "She hit the husband in the back of the head with it and then turned on the woman and also hit her in the head."

The woman who was struck needed stitches for a head wound, police said, and the husband also was cut but did not require medical treatment.
Cornelia Cottrell Smith, 26, of Athens was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of domestic violence and released from the City Jail after posting a $1,000 bond. No one answered a call Tuesday at a telephone number listed for her address.

I wonder if any one feared his loaded gun??

Naked man arrested for bank robbery

CBC News

Burnaby RCMP say a shameless bank robber resorted to an unusual — and ultimately unsuccessful — diversionary tactic as he tried to elude them on Wednesday.

The incident began at about 12:30 p.m., when a man entered a bank in the 1900-block of Willingdon Avenue and demanded money.

As he fled the scene on foot, police say the man shed his clothes before attempting to flag down a passing cab.

When the taxi driver refused to stop for the naked man, police say the suspect streaked on foot toward the Gilmore SkyTrain station.

Pursing officers tackled him before he reached the station.

A 27-year-old man of no fixed address was taken into custody. He was scheduled to appear in court Thursday.