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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Kicked out of school for a puffy shirt.


I swear I am gonna start a Sock Lord religion


Student punished for spaghetti beliefs



A student has been suspended from school in America for coming to class dressed as a pirate.

But the disciplinary action has provoked controversy – because the student says that the ban violates his rights, as the pirate costume is part of his religion.

Bryan Killian says that he follows the Pastafarian religion, and that as a crucial part of his faith, he must wear 'full pirate regalia' as prescribed in the holy texts of Pastafarianism.

The school, however, say that his pirate garb was disruptive.

Pastafarians follow the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pictured), and believe that the world was created by the touch of his noodly appendage. Furthermore, they acknowledge pirates as being 'absolute divine beings', and stress that the worldwide decline in the number of pirates has directly led to global warming.

Pastafarianism gained wide attention when its key prophet, Bobby Henderson, wrote to the Kansas School Board during the height of the controversy over 'Intelligent Design' being taught in science classes. His letter, also published on his website, demanded equal time be given to the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as was given to ID and evolutionary theory.


Since then, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has gained countless followers worldwide, although there are those who remain spagnostic.


The school, in North Buncombe, North Carolina, remains adamant that their decision to suspend Killian for a day has nothing to do with his religion, and quite a lot to do with his repeated refusal to heed warnings against wearing pirate outfits.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

You put your weed in there man!!!!


I bet next time, she stashes it a little deeper!

Drugs smuggled in vibrator

A Ukrainian woman was arrested after customs officers caught her trying to smuggle drugs inside a vibrator.

Svetlana Ivanyshka, 26, was asked to open her suitcases at Kiev airport after guards got a tip off that a young woman on her flight from New Delhi was carrying drugs.

They found a bag of hashish stuffed in the sex toy's battery compartment.

A border police spokesman said: "She told us that she had put the drugs in a vibrator because she thought no one would ever think of touching it, let alone looking inside it.

"She was obviously unaware of how thorough our officers are in their searches."

Monday, April 09, 2007

The choice of the Saved Generation!


Coke is the anti-christ!!

Jesus drinking Coca-Cola? Not this Easter


An Italian film showing Jesus Christ drinking Coca-Cola sparked such strong protest from the soft-drinks giant that it blocked the film's Easter weekend premiere, the film makers said.

The film "7 km from Jerusalem" is about an Italian advertising executive who is soul searching after losing his job and marriage. He flies to Jerusalem, where he runs into Jesus.

According to local press reports, he offers the returned Christ a can of Coca-Cola and, seeing Jesus drinking the beverage, thinks: "What a testimonial!"

Apparently Coca-Cola disagreed.

"The multinational's Italian unit sent a legal letter forcing the elimination of the scene in which Jesus drinks the well-known beverage," the producers said on the film's Web site, http://blog.7kmdagerusalemme.it/dblog/

Italian media reported that the company felt that the use of its brand was unacceptable and could get the company a bad image.

The director, Claudio Malaponti, said that if further talks were unsuccessful, the scene would indeed be cut.

"This recasting requires about 20 days and the hope is to be able to have in cinemas by the end of April," Malaponti was quoted as saying on the Web site.

A preview of the film can be seen on the movie's website: http://www.7kmdagerusalemme.it/media/trailer.htm

It was not the first time that a controversial film about Jesus was meant to open just before the Easter holiday.

Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ", which depicted Christ's scourging and crucifixion in blood-dripping detail, opened across Europe just before Easter 2004.

Catholics in Italy largely applauded the film, whose scenes of Christ's final hours were filmed in the ancient Italian stone city of Matera.

Jewish leaders across Europe expressed concern that the film's unflattering depiction of Biblical-era Jews could boost an anti-Semitism.


Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Bad Monkey!!


Someone needs a spanking!



Apr 3, 6:44 PM (ET)


(AP) A spider monkey eats Christmas treats at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia in this 2006 file photo....
Full Image

MEXICO CITY (AP) - A spider monkey that escaped from a Mexico City zoo boarded a bus and attacked a passenger, Red Cross officials said Tuesday. The monkey got on the bus at about 11 p.m. Monday after escaping from the San Juan de Aragon Zoo, Red Cross spokesman Jair Martinez said. Zoo officials could not immediately be reached for comment.

The animal sat next to the bus driver for almost an hour as he drove through the city, and scratched and bit a 20-year-old female passenger when she tried to hold it, the Mexican news agency Notimex said.

Martinez said the woman was treated for her injury, and the animal was placed in quarantine. He said he had no further details.







Metallica, you have been a bad boy!


I am naming my next kid Pantera!




Couple Fights to Name Baby 'Metallica'



Apr 3, 4:15 PM (ET)

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.


Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band.


"It suits her," Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. "She's decisive and she knows what she wants."


Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word "metal."



Tomaro said the official handling the case also called the name "ugly."


The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.


The tax agency appealed to a higher court, frustrating the family's foreign travel plans.


"We've had to cancel trips and can't get anywhere because we can't get her a passport without an approved name," Tomaro said.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

Bet it was a Cocktail Weiner!

Girl bites Hamburger

A German girl who could not get rid of a persistent admirer in a Hamburg disco unzipped his flies, pulled out his penis - and almost bit it in half.

Emergency services found the man clutching his blood-stained member in the middle of the dance floor.

Natascha Mueller, 23, told police: "I just wanted to dance and he kept coming alongside me and would not go away."

Her victim, Andreas Baum, 39, said: "She beckoned me over and told me 'I know what you need'.

"Then she unzipped my trousers and I thought it was Xmas, and then she bit me. The pain was incredible. She almost bit it off."

The young woman, who was arrested, was six times over the legal limit for driving when breath tested.

Shoulda Went to college!!


A woman walks into their Frat house to take care of business, and they called the cops??? Musta been the Tri-Lambs




Masturbating woman disturbs students


Male students at a US university called police after a young woman walked into their house and started masturbating.

The woman went into a Michigan University frat house and began to masturbate on a couch, reports the Michigan Daily.

Fraternity president Dan Nye said fraternity members were eating in the dining room at the time.

The woman told them her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University.

She was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."

No one saw her enter the house but the front door had been left propped open because it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. At one point she was talking on her mobile phone.

She walked out wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police. By the time police arrived, minutes later, she had already left.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Pet Sematary 3??



Note to self, make sure pet is dead BEFORE buring!!

Puppy comes back from the dead

A puppy which 'died' in a car accident crawled home after being buried for seven hours.

The poodle, Dudu, of Nanjing City, China, was hit by a van after he was taken out for a walk, reports Jinling Evening Post.

"He was so excited to go out, and escaped the rope," says owner, Miss Li, of Longjiang residential community.

"Dudu was thrown into the air, then hit the kerb. When my mother ran to him, he was spitting blood, and had stopped breathing."

Miss Li and her mother buried Dudu outside apartment block.

But later they were shocked to get a call from the property office saying the dog was sitting outside the building's metal door.

"I rushed out and Dudu staggered toward me. He was covered with soil and had dried blood at the edge of his mouth, and both eyes swollen with blood," says Miss Li.

Li and her mother immediately sent Dudu to Beier Pet Hospital, where doctors were touched by Dudu's brave story and performed an emergency operation.

Hospital manager Hu Hong says Dudu would have been in shock when his owner couldn't feel his breath and thought he was dead.

But luckily the pit was not too deep and the soil not tightly packed, and Dudu came to the hospital in time to be saved," he said.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

1982 - Ayds commercial

Yes, this is one of the famous TV commercials for Ayds, a simple diet candy that was supposed to help satisfy your cravings for something sweet long enough to keep you from raiding the fridge and eating higher-calorie items. Unfortunately for the company's marketing department, AIDS was starting to become a name known to the public and, well...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

CIA Agent Stole Jewelry, Panties


Wonder if he used any hightech spy gear?

FAIRFAX, Va. -- A fired CIA employee has pleaded guilty to charges that he burglarized 10 homes near the agency's head- quarters.

Prosecutors said George C. Dalmas III, 48, admitted in Fairfax County Circuit Court that he broke into the homes
from October 2005 to January of this year.

He was charged with taking items that included valuable jewelry, collectibles such as Camp David cuff links and 1,074 pairs of women's underwear.

His lawyer, Gary Moliken, said mental health issues, rather than greed, motivated Dalmas, whom he described as a pack rat.

According to court documents, Dalmas never tried to pawn or sell the jewelry or other valuable goods.

Investigators said Dalmas was tracked down after a woman reported an intruder in January and gave police information from the license plates of the intruder's getaway car.

CIA officials said Dalmas worked for the agency for almost 20 years and was fired from his mid-level administrative post in August.

He faces up to 20 years in prison for each of the 10 burglaries when he's sentenced Feb. 9, though prosecutors and defense attorneys say he is likely to receive less time.