Clothing is for slow people

Good thing I put my pants on before my shirt in the mornings!!

Pants-less driver lands in jail

He was on way to work when pulled over

It's pretty bad if you get arrested for drugs.

It's pretty embarrassing if you get arrested for drugs while not wearing pants while driving to work.

But Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies say that's just what happened Sunday to George Micelli, 42, of Homestead.

Deputies say that Sunday at 8:30 a.m. Deputy Francisco Gaete was watching for a silver minivan that had reportedly been traveling recklessly. He spotted it as it turned into a gas station at mile marker 106, approached the driver and asked for his license and registration. The driver reportedly couldn't produce either one.

A check of his name revealed his license was suspended eight times so as Gaete prepared to take Micelli into custody, he noticed the suspect was wearing only a shirt and underwear.

Deputy Becky Herrin said Gaete asked why he wasn't wearing pants and Micelli replied that he was on his way to work at the gas station where the traffic stop took place.

Herrin said he said he thought it would be more comfortable to go to work in his underwear.

She said a search of Micelli's van turned up a folded dollar bill that had three foil packets with a brown substance inside; she said it tested positive for heroin.

Micelli was booked on charges of driving with his license suspended and possession of a controlled substance.

I'd hate to bust your fun bag there......

Note to self, don't mess with the waitressess at the strip club.

Woman Accused of Being Condom Bomber

Monday, February 13, 2006

Hey, at least she used protection.

Saying she was tired of men mistreating her, an ex-strip club waitress in Boston mailed condoms filled with a potentially explosive mixture to strip clubs, a TV station and other places, according to The Boston Globe.

Kimberly Lynn Dasilva, 40, said she just "couldn't take it anymore" in FBI documents unsealed in the city's U.S. District Court on Tuesday.

None of the condom bombs — a mix of gasoline and drain cleaner that can explode when combined — actually went off, authorities said.

Cops also said Dasilva told them she hadn't thought they would work.

Dasilva, a single mother of two teens, referred questions to her attorney when The Globe got in touch with her on Tuesday. The lawyer had no comment.

According to FBI affidavits, a strange package showed up at the Bridgewater State College admissions office on Sept. 21 — with a note inside saying "Boom." Workers evacuated the building and the State Police Bomb Squad was called in when a fluid was seen leaking from the package.

The next day at the Brockton postal annex, five more parcels containing the risky rubbers were found, according to the FBI documents.

The packages were addressed to The Outlaws motorcycle club in Taunton, local TV station WFXT, Boston radio station WXKS-FM, and two strip clubs — The Foxy Lady in Brockton and Alex's in Stoughton.

State police troopers and FBI agents raided the alleged condom bomber's home, finding letters hidden in her bedroom's ceiling tiles allegedly linking her to the mailings. Cops arrested Dasilva, who used to work at The Foxy Lady and Alex's, last Friday night.

U.S. Magistrate Judge Robert B. Collings released her last Monday on $10,000 bond, scheduling a hearing Feb. 23.

Say Ahhhh.......

You know, it really sucks to go to the dentist some times.

Dentist accused in sex-for-pills case

Associated Press
Feb. 10, 2006 05:00 PM

QUINCY, Mass. - An elderly dentist pleaded not guilty Friday to charges he wrote fraudulent prescriptions that police claim were in exchange for sex from drug addicts.

Police alleged Dr. Joseph T. Matarazzo, 77, wrote more than 100 fraudulent prescriptions over two years in exchange for oral sex, The Patriot Ledger of Quincy reported.

Matarazzo allegedly told an undercover police officer that he wrote fraudulent Oxycodone prescriptions for the same person three times and suggested "maybe she had a drug problem." Oxycodone is the main chemical in painkillers Percoset and OxyContin.

Police obtained Matarazzo's records showing a list of prescriptions he wrote, and said it includes several people known to police to be drug addicts, the Ledger reported. Police say their probe is ongoing.

Matarazzo was released on his own recognizance after his arraignment in Quincy District Court. He's due back in court March 15.

The charges include distribution of a class B substance, drug violations near a school, conspiracy to violate drug laws, and uttering a false prescription.

Matarazzo declined to comment Friday. His lawyer, Frederick G. Barry Jr., said the charges against Matarazzo are related to a single allegation.

"He's been a dentist for 52 years and he has no prior criminal record whatsoever," Barry said. "He's a good man."

Matarazzo has surrendered his dentist's license, which he obtained in 1953, according to the state Division of Professional Licensure.