Bad Monkey!!

Someone needs a spanking!


Apr 3, 6:44 PM (ET)

(AP) A spider monkey eats Christmas treats at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia in this 2006 file photo.... Full Image

MEXICO CITY (AP) - A spider monkey that escaped from a Mexico City zoo boarded a bus and attacked a passenger, Red Cross officials said Tuesday. The monkey got on the bus at about 11 p.m. Monday after escaping from the San Juan de Aragon Zoo, Red Cross spokesman Jair Martinez said. Zoo officials could not immediately be reached for comment.

The animal sat next to the bus driver for almost an hour as he drove through the city, and scratched and bit a 20-year-old female passenger when she tried to hold it, the Mexican news agency Notimex said.

Martinez said the woman was treated for her injury, and the animal was placed in quarantine. He said he had no further details.

Metallica, you have been a bad boy!

I am naming my next kid Pantera!




Couple Fights to Name Baby 'Metallica'

Apr 3, 4:15 PM (ET)

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.

Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band.

"It suits her," Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. "She's decisive and she knows what she wants."

Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word "metal."

Tomaro said the official handling the case also called the name "ugly."

The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.

The tax agency appealed to a higher court, frustrating the family's foreign travel plans.

"We've had to cancel trips and can't get anywhere because we can't get her a passport without an approved name," Tomaro said.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

Bet it was a Cocktail Weiner!

Girl bites Hamburger

A German girl who could not get rid of a persistent admirer in a Hamburg disco unzipped his flies, pulled out his penis - and almost bit it in half.

Emergency services found the man clutching his blood-stained member in the middle of the dance floor.

Natascha Mueller, 23, told police: "I just wanted to dance and he kept coming alongside me and would not go away."

Her victim, Andreas Baum, 39, said: "She beckoned me over and told me 'I know what you need'.

"Then she unzipped my trousers and I thought it was Xmas, and then she bit me. The pain was incredible. She almost bit it off."

The young woman, who was arrested, was six times over the legal limit for driving when breath tested.

Shoulda Went to college!!

A woman walks into their Frat house to take care of business, and they called the cops??? Musta been the Tri-Lambs




Masturbating woman disturbs students

Male students at a US university called police after a young woman walked into their house and started masturbating.

The woman went into a Michigan University frat house and began to masturbate on a couch, reports the Michigan Daily.

Fraternity president Dan Nye said fraternity members were eating in the dining room at the time.

The woman told them her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University.

She was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."

No one saw her enter the house but the front door had been left propped open because it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. At one point she was talking on her mobile phone.

She walked out wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police. By the time police arrived, minutes later, she had already left.